Uncertainty, doubt, unpredictability, inconclusiveness… Are all a big part of anxiety. But what do you do when they make up big part of your life?
My mom is a cancer survivor. She got diagnosed with breast cancer almost four years ago, and two years later that cancer metastasised to her brain. She almost died. The edema in her brain due to the tumor was so large, it almost resulted in a fatal finale.
My family did the imposible to keep her alive. We even flew her in an ambulance plane to Baltimore so that Dr. Quiñones, world renowned brain surgeon could treat her.
The only certain thing I know is that time flies… Two years ago I never thought my mom would be alive and leading a normal life.
Unfortunately, cancer has its horrifying way of surprising you whenever you think everything is okay. A few months ago, in a routine check up in Baltimore’s Johns Hopkins Hospital, an abnormal spot showed up in my mothers brain. We knew it could happen, but we never thought the day would come so soon.
In December, she got a routine check up again, where the spot didn’t grow. We were so happy! We thought it was over. But in February, during a MRI in Baltimore the spot grew again.
After two months of waiting, tomorrow we are going to find out what that spot is. If she’s going to need surgery or if it was just a scare. Dealing with cancer can be so unnerving and unpredictable.
So what do you do when uncertainty makes up such a big part of your life? You learn to live day by day. You take each day at a time, worrying about the now and not about the future.
You learn to live each day to the fullest. Make each moment worth it. You start to realize that life is a precious gift and that everything happens for a reason.
It’s funny how life works sometimes. I’ve always been an anxious person, the type who worries about every single thing and that needs to have everything under control. Unfortunately, cancer doesn’t work that way. It changes your life in a matter of seconds and can become a waiting room for disaster.
My best advice is to learn to embrace uncertainty. You are never going to know what the future holds for you even if you are completely healthy, but you can always make the best of your present.